Friday, June 09, 2006
Removal of Mt Soledad Cross Will Increase Vampire Attacks Warn Experts
San Diego-Local vampire slayers are going public this week to warn that the removal of the controversial cross monument on top of Mt. Soledad will drastically increase vampire attacks and could unleash an entire vampire army that will lay waste to the surrounding urban area.
"People think the cross is just a symbol but they don't realize that it is a mystical barrier against the underworld." explained professor Rupert Giles who works as a librarian at the San Diego high school. "Tearing down the cross will unleash hordes of evil minions from the Hellmouth which is located directly below the cross."
Local activist fighting against religious symbols on public land scoffed at Giles claims. "That is just hocus pocus nonsense." said Charles Naday of La Jolla. "Even if the cross really does possess special binding energy power that keeps Morgor the Mighty from rising up and reclaiming his rightful throne it's not constitutional."
Buffy Summers a local teen volunteer and vampire slayer lashed out against the removal of the cross calling anti-cross activist "dweebs who are under the spell of dark forces." Summers complained that she would be the one to "do the dirty work and kill the vampire monsters just like when I had to fight the Puss Demon when they opened Petco park."