1. Christy Guerin has no human parents. She was born as a full adult after the grand opening of the Ecke Ranch Shopping Center. Her birth was the result of a three way between Target, Linens and Things and Ross Dress for Less.
2. When she was a cop she was fond of yelling "FREEZE MUTHAFUCKA!" even when writing traffic tickets.
3. Her new duties working for Brian Bilbray include helping him peel off his latex human face mask and feeding him live kittens.
4. Even Chuck Norris fears Christy Guerin's roundhouse kick. She did all of Uma Thurman's stunt work for Kill Bill 1&2.
5. Under that cute Anne Taylor outfit is a .38 special with shoulder holster so don't mess with her.
6. When Christy Guerin cried at her press conference announcing she wouldn't seek another term, flowers and baby ducks appeared from the ground where her tears fell.
7. Christy Guerin makes a mean Paella, the best!
8. Christy Guerin won 1st prize at the San Diego Comic Con costume contest for her version of slave Leia.
9. Christy Guerin can reach speeds on foot up to 9 miles an hour.
10. Christy Guerin can hear underwater sounds from as far as 15 miles away.
11. Christy Guerin is the person who forwards all those heartwarming spam e-mails to you.
12. Christy Guerin's husband is a sheriff with a terrific sense of humor (I hope).
13. Christy Guerin's favorite dish at Denny's is Moons Over My Hammy.
14. Christy Guerin once appeared on the television show Judge Judy where she grabbed the gavel and cried out, NO MA'AM, YOU'RE THE ONE OUT OF ORDER!
15. Christy Guerin is lovely woman trying her best to make it in a man's world.