Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Giant Nipple Man attacks downtown Encinitas
ENCINITAS--Panic and fear and gripped the small coastal community of Encinitas after an hour long morning rampage by a surfboard wielding giant Nipple Man.
In what appeared to be an unprovoked attack, the giant Nipple Man laid waste to several local business by shooting a heat ray from his oversized nipple.
"I don't know what his problem was," said stunned eyewitness, Bob Johnson. "The giant Nipple Man has always been peaceful in the past."
"He totally just freaked out for no reason." said another area man, Tyler Hanel. "He stepped on my car and then laughed about it. That's not cool."
Critics say that giant Nipple Man has transformed historic Encinitas in a negative way but Peder Norby of the Downtown Encinitas MainStreet Association commented that giant Nipple Man was a logical step in evolution.
"That represented a huge change for downtown," Norby said. "This does represent an evolution, but it's not that it's something that hasn't happened before."
Officials said that after running amok for nearly an hour the giant Nipple Man got into a giant yellow H2 and returned to his man cave deep below the earth's crust under San Elijo Hills.
Locals fear that another attack is imminent.